The grieving process is a complex cycle of emotions. Some experts have divided the grieving process into several stages:
- Denial. The initial sense of shock may cause you to doubt—or refuse to believe—a loved one is gone. You may feel numb and may even have physical side effects, such as insomnia, loss of appetite and a racing heartbeat.
- Anger. You may feel cheated or abandoned and take out your anger on friends, family or those who cared for your loved one.
- Depression. Often the longest and most difficult stage of the grieving process, in which you may experience feelings of sadness, despair, disorientation and/or other psychological and physical conditions.
- Acceptance. You come to grips with the death and begin to move on with your life.
People don’t necessarily move through the grieving process in consecutive stages. You may go back and forth or be in more than one stage of the grieving process at a time and experience a wide range of emotions: guilt, fear, sadness. The healing process is different for everyone, and there is no timetable. Even after you’ve begun to come to terms with your loss, don’t be surprised if grief revisits you. Love for a person doesn’t end when they die.
If you’re having suicidal thoughts, are relying on alcohol or drugs to numb your pain, seek professional help. If you are having problems working through the grieving process, share your thoughts and feelings with another person, it will help. You may want to join a support group. Local sources of help include hospitals, churches, and health and social service agencies. There may also be employee assistance programs where you work. See For More Information for information on dealing with loss and the grieving process.
Thinking about good times shared with your loved one can sometimes be comforting. It’s also helpful to take extra good care of yourself at this time – get enough sleep, eat properly, and exercise regularly. Remember, at some time or another everyone experiences similar feelings. There is nothing wrong with asking for help.
