One of the first questions you will have to face after deciding on a divorce is whether you need a lawyer. If you have a good relationship with your spouse, you could consider negotiating your own settlement and representing yourself in court (known as pro se representation). For information on how to proceed, check your local bookstore, or contact your local Legal Aid Society. Find out if the court procedures are simple to follow or if you are likely to need help sorting through the forms and procedures. Consider representing yourself only if you and your spouse agree to the terms of the divorce. Even then, experts advise paying a lawyer a fixed fee for a one-time consultation to review the agreement.

Unfortunately, many divorcing couples are not on friendly terms and will need lawyers, particularly if the issues are contested or if one party lacks information about the other's financial position. Shop around for a lawyer by asking friends, family members or your local bar association for referrals. You may wish to compare the fees of at least three lawyers. Legal fees vary depending upon where you live but could run several thousand dollars or more if your situation involves a large marital estate or you become embroiled in a fierce custody battle. Lawyers cannot take divorce cases on a contingency basis, so you must pay an hourly rate or agree upon a flat fee. If you are having financial difficulty, ask about setting up a payment schedule. If you cannot reach an agreement with your lawyer or cannot afford to hire one, call your local Legal Aid Society or a law school clinic for assistance.

Once you have hired a lawyer, he or she usually will:

• Negotiate with your spouse's lawyer
• Determine your spouse's assets
• File a request to terminate your marriage
• Arrange for your spouse to receive a summons
• Request a restraining order, if necessary, to protect assets or prohibit domestic violence

Before your divorce is declared final, certain issues must be settled. You can negotiate the final settlement with your spouse, or the court will resolve any disputes between the two of you. Some of the issues to be settled include:

• Negotiating division of assets and property (savings accounts, home, cars, pensions, etc.)
• Establishing alimony payments, if any
• Determining who will have custody of the children or if you will have joint legal custody. In joint custody, both parents share in making major decisions and both also might spend substantial amounts of time with the children.
• Establishing visitation schedules for the noncostodial parent
• Establishing child support payments, with reference to state child support guidelines
• Determining educational support beyond high school, if any
• Establishing health insurance coverage for each of you and any dependents
• Determining liability for outstanding bills
• Determining who may claim tax benefits such as exemptions of children and mortgage interest deductions